One week after my pregnancy I was depressed. I loved my husband and SJ, but my body wasn’t the same, my life had seemingly changed in the blink of an eye. My mommy doubts were at an all time high—how would I care for someone so small? What if I’ll be a bad mom? What if I don’t raise him to be a nice, productive citizen? All these thoughts are more surfaced and I felt trapped.
If you’re not familiar, postpartum depression is a common problem that affects more than 1 in every 10 women within a year of giving birth. Prior to my experience I thought for sure I would never be sad after the birth of a child. I just knew I would always love my little one, and never be upset about it. Boy was I so wrong.
I didn’t talk much about how I felt, and thankfully my symptoms only lasted a few weeks, but I remembered a dear friend of mine said that if I felt really bad I should seek help. And to not be ashamed. Another friend randomly reached out and shared how being a new mom was a total shock for her. It was NOTHING like she expected and adjusting to her new life presented so many challenges. I encouraged her, but I was reminded again about the importance of reaching out to new moms and seeing how they are.
Now that SJ isn’t a newborn and things have normalized, I’m still able to reach out to my mom friends and ask the serious questions (like, how to ease back into sex after having a baby) and funny questions (will our breast ever go back to their original size?)
We don’t have the answers—although rumor has it that your breasts will never look the same—but the sisterhood is paramount for growth as you transition. And, even if you don’t have girlfriends who have gone through the process, join apps like Peanut that allow you to connect with other moms in your area.
Just remember, motherhood as an adventure in the life of a woman, and building a strong community of like-minded moms is so powerful and necessary. The more moms you know, the better parenting becomes.
So who are your mommy go-tos? Would you ever start a mom group?